tools
11 Anxiety Hacks That Psychologists Swear By
12/03/20 Filed in: Anxiety
I recently read an article on dealing with anxiety. With all that is going on in our world today, there are certainly many opportunities to practice what is written in the article! Here is the link: 11 Anxiety Hacks I invite you to read it.
Having said that, I want to list the 11 tools they mention and make a few personal comments about them.
Do Your Research
Often anxiety is about the unknown. Getting information about issues can be really helpful. For example, our family dog just had a stroke. He’s not that old either. We imagined that this was going to be the end of him, and we were already preparing for the heartbreak of having to put him down. But a quick trip to the vet and a few Google articles later, we had a much better understanding of canine strokes, and have a much better view of the future of our little friend.
Say it Out Loud
I especially like what the article said about stating, “Oh, this is my anxiety again.” There certainly is some brain stuff going on when you speak out loud, but I also like the activity of separating you from the anxiety. You are not anxiety. Anxiety is not you. It is something you are facing, but it is not your identity.
Hold an Ice Cube
This was a new one for me, but it makes sense. It’s all about changing what your mind is focussing on.
Take a Step Outside
Going for a short, brisk walk where you’re breathing fresh air can do wonders for giving your mind and body a restart.
Drink Something Hot
This has the same effect as holding an ice cube. I’ve heard stories of how WWII British soldiers would stop in the middle of battle to brew some tea. I always thought it was just because it was a customary part of that culture. But I wonder if they knew something back then about how a hot cup of tea helps in quieting anxiety.
Sniff a Soothing Scent
“Pick a smell that you associate with relaxation”. Mine is…sulphur! That is because years ago we took a family trip to
Rotorua, a city with a lot of volcanic ground vents. We had a fantastic time as a family, and now every time I smell sulphur, I am reminded of how relaxed we were. And now the smell relaxes me! You might have a more pleasing aroma that does the same; tap into it when you are feeling anxious.
Set Aside Time to Worry
I’ve worked with people who have used some object to represent the issue causing anxiety. When they need a break from it, they will lay the object down somewhere and promise to come back and pick it up later to deal with it. It has worked for them.
Write About Your Anxiety
I’ve written here about the huge benefits of journaling. If you haven’t yet tried this activity, I beg you to give it a go. It is much more beneficial than a lot of people think.
Remember to Breathe
In this article they give an exercise to do: breathe in for the count of 5, hold for a count of 2, breathe out for a count of 10. (I use 3-2-7 in my practice.) Three keys for this are as follows: (1) Breathe deeply and fill the bottom part of your lungs. If you struggle with this, imagine filling a balloon with air that is in your stomach, or imagine breathing in through your belly button. (2) Focus on the numbers. Visualise them. When I practice this, my mental numbers are like thick pieces of cotton that are orange and brown. I don’t know why those colours (they’re not my favourite by a long shot), but it helps for me to picture those numbers as I’m counting them. This is all about redirecting your mind away from focussing on anxiety. (3) Repeat the breathing 10-20 times. Doing this just a few times will not have the effect needed to deal with most anxiety.
Bring Yourself Back to Reality
“Grounding” is the popular word used for this technique. The article gives the standard tool for doing this. The benefit of doing this is bringing yourself back to what is rather than what if.
Slow Down
If we ever needed a worldwide mantra right now, this is it! Again, the article gives some suggestions on how to slow down. Can I give one more? Get off your phone! Checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. may feel relaxing, but it is not. Later, I’m going to write a blog post about what phone scrolling is really doing to your life. But you can do a simple search online and find scads of articles that will show you how important it is to find disconnect time between you and your phone.
We live in a world that gives us many opportunities to respond with anxiety. But using these simple tools can give us what we need to manage anxiety and keep living life the way we want.
Having said that, I want to list the 11 tools they mention and make a few personal comments about them.
Do Your Research
Often anxiety is about the unknown. Getting information about issues can be really helpful. For example, our family dog just had a stroke. He’s not that old either. We imagined that this was going to be the end of him, and we were already preparing for the heartbreak of having to put him down. But a quick trip to the vet and a few Google articles later, we had a much better understanding of canine strokes, and have a much better view of the future of our little friend.
Say it Out Loud
I especially like what the article said about stating, “Oh, this is my anxiety again.” There certainly is some brain stuff going on when you speak out loud, but I also like the activity of separating you from the anxiety. You are not anxiety. Anxiety is not you. It is something you are facing, but it is not your identity.
Hold an Ice Cube
This was a new one for me, but it makes sense. It’s all about changing what your mind is focussing on.
Take a Step Outside
Going for a short, brisk walk where you’re breathing fresh air can do wonders for giving your mind and body a restart.
Drink Something Hot
This has the same effect as holding an ice cube. I’ve heard stories of how WWII British soldiers would stop in the middle of battle to brew some tea. I always thought it was just because it was a customary part of that culture. But I wonder if they knew something back then about how a hot cup of tea helps in quieting anxiety.
Sniff a Soothing Scent
“Pick a smell that you associate with relaxation”. Mine is…sulphur! That is because years ago we took a family trip to
Set Aside Time to Worry
I’ve worked with people who have used some object to represent the issue causing anxiety. When they need a break from it, they will lay the object down somewhere and promise to come back and pick it up later to deal with it. It has worked for them.
Write About Your Anxiety
I’ve written here about the huge benefits of journaling. If you haven’t yet tried this activity, I beg you to give it a go. It is much more beneficial than a lot of people think.
Remember to Breathe
In this article they give an exercise to do: breathe in for the count of 5, hold for a count of 2, breathe out for a count of 10. (I use 3-2-7 in my practice.) Three keys for this are as follows: (1) Breathe deeply and fill the bottom part of your lungs. If you struggle with this, imagine filling a balloon with air that is in your stomach, or imagine breathing in through your belly button. (2) Focus on the numbers. Visualise them. When I practice this, my mental numbers are like thick pieces of cotton that are orange and brown. I don’t know why those colours (they’re not my favourite by a long shot), but it helps for me to picture those numbers as I’m counting them. This is all about redirecting your mind away from focussing on anxiety. (3) Repeat the breathing 10-20 times. Doing this just a few times will not have the effect needed to deal with most anxiety.
Bring Yourself Back to Reality
“Grounding” is the popular word used for this technique. The article gives the standard tool for doing this. The benefit of doing this is bringing yourself back to what is rather than what if.
Slow Down
If we ever needed a worldwide mantra right now, this is it! Again, the article gives some suggestions on how to slow down. Can I give one more? Get off your phone! Checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. may feel relaxing, but it is not. Later, I’m going to write a blog post about what phone scrolling is really doing to your life. But you can do a simple search online and find scads of articles that will show you how important it is to find disconnect time between you and your phone.
We live in a world that gives us many opportunities to respond with anxiety. But using these simple tools can give us what we need to manage anxiety and keep living life the way we want.
Five Tools to Use with Depression (part 2)
07/10/19 Filed in: Depression
Setting Goals. This is helpful in getting you moving forward through the mud of depression. I often encourage people to find the right personal balance in setting goals. You don't want them so big that they are unattainable on your best day, but you also don't want them to be so small that you don't get any benefit from accomplishing them. Your goal might be to get out of bed by 10:00am. It might be too organise a dresser drawer. It might be to read this entire post. It might be to take a walk or a bike ride. It might be something bigger that requires several steps before the goal is reached. The key is to have some target that feels you are making some sort of progress for the day.
Changing Thinking. When depression hits, we tend to get into a cycle of "stinkin' thinkin'". We want to feel better, but our thinking tends to get in the way. For example, you might say, "I know I should get out and take a walk, but I don't feel like it." If I heard someone say that, I would suggest two changes to the thought processes. First, what happens if you change "should" too "would like to"? It kind of takes the pressure of guilt off, doesn't it. Guilt is NEVER a good motivator! Second, do the Double But. We tend to run to the first but when we're not feeling good. Trying to stop the first but is, in my opinion, wasted energy. So I say, go ahead and think the first but…but don't stop there. Double-but the but. "I would like to get out and take a walk, but I don't feel like it. BUT I can at least put my shoes on." That second but moves you forward and makes the next step a bit easier. Whatever but you stop on holds the power. Give the second but that boost.
Relaxation. Do some deep breathing. Soak in a tub. Listen to the birds. Do what helps you relax. Sometimes depression gets stronger when we are trying to do too much and we don't have time to recharge. Give yourself space and permission to relax.
Activity. Endorphins. Even non-medical people have heard about these nice little natural wonder guys. They're your body's chemicals that make you feel better when you are active. And they're just itching to get to work, but they need you to do some kind of activity to warm them up and get them flowing. It doesn't have to be a hard one-hour workout at the gym. It can be a gentle walk, a slow bike ride, a wander through the gardens. Just do some kind of activity that lets your endorphins know they can get busy.
Problem Solving. Working through some sort of problem, no matter how small it is, can help you see progress. Problems often feel like the black cloud hanging over you, or something ominous just out of eyesight. Writing a simple plan, carrying out one step at a time, making progress towards the removal of that cloud can often help you move toward the shallower end of the depression mud pool.
Now again, just as a reminder, please don't try to use all five of these at the same time. Two at the most. And if you find those two aren't working, then experiment with some of the others.
And as always, if you want to work through the depression you are experiencing with someone, please feel free to contact me. I am more than willing to walk with you through this part of your life journey.
Five Tools to Use with Depression (part 1)
30/09/19 Filed in: Depression
Early in 2019 I went through a couple of months of dark depression. I was facing a time in my life when I felt I had no past to be grounded to, nor a future to look forward to. Granted, my walk through the mud of depression was relatively short, but it was intense. It was during this time that I go
t to practice what I had been preaching for several years in my counselling work. One of those "sermons" was looking at five common tools often promoted as useful in walking through depression.
I'll list the five tools in my next blog post. But first, I feel there are a few fundamental thoughts I came to in my own experience that I'd like for you to consider.
Number 1 - please don't try to use all five tools at the same time! If you think of a toolbox you have at home, it may help give you a mental picture of how this works. You would never reach into your toolbox and try to use a hammer, screwdriver, wrench, saw, and tape measure at the same time! It's the same with these depression tools - you will probably want to use no more than two at a time together.
Number 2 - have a look at the list and decide which one (or two) feel most doable for you right now. Start with those. If you find they are not working, then experiment with some of the others. You may find that you have energy to focus on only one tool. Or you may find a combination of two works better than a combination of another two. Which one(s) you choose to use are completely personal to how you are in the moment.
Number 3 - these tools are not quick-fix schemes. Depression has often been likened to walking through mud. When you find yourself in thigh-deep mud, you don't just hop out of it. You keep
making progress (although often painfully slow) until you realise that the mud is only knee deep, and then calf deep, and then ankle deep. The speed of the progress varies from person to person. But take note of where the depression mud feels every couple of days. Sometimes it feels deeper, sometimes the same, and sometimes shallower. You might even want to chart your experience so you can have a long view of your journey.
Number 4 - Depression ends when depression ends. If you've been experiencing depression for a while you will have probably run into some well-meaning but misinformed friends who have said something like, "Just snap out of it" or "Look at the bright side of life". The tools we will look at next help you manage the depression, and may give you needed direction as you slog through the mud. But telling yourself that you have to be done with depression by a certain time frame is both unhelpful and unfair to you.
Number 5 - Find someone to share your walk. I'm not saying to go look for someone else who is worse off than you. I am saying to find a friend, family member, or counsellor who will not try to fix you, but will instead listen to your journey and be with you in the moment. Finding validation from a trusted person can often be one of the more helpful experiences when going through depression.
When I went through my short, sharp walk with depression, I had to remind myself of these above thoughts often. There were some very dark days when getting out of bed was THE accomplishment of the day. You may be feeling something of the same. If you want someone to talk with you about this, please contact me through this website. You don't have to go through depression alone. There is a way through.
I'll list the five tools in my next blog post. But first, I feel there are a few fundamental thoughts I came to in my own experience that I'd like for you to consider.
Number 1 - please don't try to use all five tools at the same time! If you think of a toolbox you have at home, it may help give you a mental picture of how this works. You would never reach into your toolbox and try to use a hammer, screwdriver, wrench, saw, and tape measure at the same time! It's the same with these depression tools - you will probably want to use no more than two at a time together.
Number 2 - have a look at the list and decide which one (or two) feel most doable for you right now. Start with those. If you find they are not working, then experiment with some of the others. You may find that you have energy to focus on only one tool. Or you may find a combination of two works better than a combination of another two. Which one(s) you choose to use are completely personal to how you are in the moment.
Number 3 - these tools are not quick-fix schemes. Depression has often been likened to walking through mud. When you find yourself in thigh-deep mud, you don't just hop out of it. You keep
Number 4 - Depression ends when depression ends. If you've been experiencing depression for a while you will have probably run into some well-meaning but misinformed friends who have said something like, "Just snap out of it" or "Look at the bright side of life". The tools we will look at next help you manage the depression, and may give you needed direction as you slog through the mud. But telling yourself that you have to be done with depression by a certain time frame is both unhelpful and unfair to you.
Number 5 - Find someone to share your walk. I'm not saying to go look for someone else who is worse off than you. I am saying to find a friend, family member, or counsellor who will not try to fix you, but will instead listen to your journey and be with you in the moment. Finding validation from a trusted person can often be one of the more helpful experiences when going through depression.
When I went through my short, sharp walk with depression, I had to remind myself of these above thoughts often. There were some very dark days when getting out of bed was THE accomplishment of the day. You may be feeling something of the same. If you want someone to talk with you about this, please contact me through this website. You don't have to go through depression alone. There is a way through.