self-care
11 Anxiety Hacks That Psychologists Swear By
12/03/20 Filed in: Anxiety
I recently read an article on dealing with anxiety. With all that is going on in our world today, there are certainly many opportunities to practice what is written in the article! Here is the link: 11 Anxiety Hacks I invite you to read it.
Having said that, I want to list the 11 tools they mention and make a few personal comments about them.
Do Your Research
Often anxiety is about the unknown. Getting information about issues can be really helpful. For example, our family dog just had a stroke. He’s not that old either. We imagined that this was going to be the end of him, and we were already preparing for the heartbreak of having to put him down. But a quick trip to the vet and a few Google articles later, we had a much better understanding of canine strokes, and have a much better view of the future of our little friend.
Say it Out Loud
I especially like what the article said about stating, “Oh, this is my anxiety again.” There certainly is some brain stuff going on when you speak out loud, but I also like the activity of separating you from the anxiety. You are not anxiety. Anxiety is not you. It is something you are facing, but it is not your identity.
Hold an Ice Cube
This was a new one for me, but it makes sense. It’s all about changing what your mind is focussing on.
Take a Step Outside
Going for a short, brisk walk where you’re breathing fresh air can do wonders for giving your mind and body a restart.
Drink Something Hot
This has the same effect as holding an ice cube. I’ve heard stories of how WWII British soldiers would stop in the middle of battle to brew some tea. I always thought it was just because it was a customary part of that culture. But I wonder if they knew something back then about how a hot cup of tea helps in quieting anxiety.
Sniff a Soothing Scent
“Pick a smell that you associate with relaxation”. Mine is…sulphur! That is because years ago we took a family trip to
Rotorua, a city with a lot of volcanic ground vents. We had a fantastic time as a family, and now every time I smell sulphur, I am reminded of how relaxed we were. And now the smell relaxes me! You might have a more pleasing aroma that does the same; tap into it when you are feeling anxious.
Set Aside Time to Worry
I’ve worked with people who have used some object to represent the issue causing anxiety. When they need a break from it, they will lay the object down somewhere and promise to come back and pick it up later to deal with it. It has worked for them.
Write About Your Anxiety
I’ve written here about the huge benefits of journaling. If you haven’t yet tried this activity, I beg you to give it a go. It is much more beneficial than a lot of people think.
Remember to Breathe
In this article they give an exercise to do: breathe in for the count of 5, hold for a count of 2, breathe out for a count of 10. (I use 3-2-7 in my practice.) Three keys for this are as follows: (1) Breathe deeply and fill the bottom part of your lungs. If you struggle with this, imagine filling a balloon with air that is in your stomach, or imagine breathing in through your belly button. (2) Focus on the numbers. Visualise them. When I practice this, my mental numbers are like thick pieces of cotton that are orange and brown. I don’t know why those colours (they’re not my favourite by a long shot), but it helps for me to picture those numbers as I’m counting them. This is all about redirecting your mind away from focussing on anxiety. (3) Repeat the breathing 10-20 times. Doing this just a few times will not have the effect needed to deal with most anxiety.
Bring Yourself Back to Reality
“Grounding” is the popular word used for this technique. The article gives the standard tool for doing this. The benefit of doing this is bringing yourself back to what is rather than what if.
Slow Down
If we ever needed a worldwide mantra right now, this is it! Again, the article gives some suggestions on how to slow down. Can I give one more? Get off your phone! Checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. may feel relaxing, but it is not. Later, I’m going to write a blog post about what phone scrolling is really doing to your life. But you can do a simple search online and find scads of articles that will show you how important it is to find disconnect time between you and your phone.
We live in a world that gives us many opportunities to respond with anxiety. But using these simple tools can give us what we need to manage anxiety and keep living life the way we want.
Having said that, I want to list the 11 tools they mention and make a few personal comments about them.
Do Your Research
Often anxiety is about the unknown. Getting information about issues can be really helpful. For example, our family dog just had a stroke. He’s not that old either. We imagined that this was going to be the end of him, and we were already preparing for the heartbreak of having to put him down. But a quick trip to the vet and a few Google articles later, we had a much better understanding of canine strokes, and have a much better view of the future of our little friend.
Say it Out Loud
I especially like what the article said about stating, “Oh, this is my anxiety again.” There certainly is some brain stuff going on when you speak out loud, but I also like the activity of separating you from the anxiety. You are not anxiety. Anxiety is not you. It is something you are facing, but it is not your identity.
Hold an Ice Cube
This was a new one for me, but it makes sense. It’s all about changing what your mind is focussing on.
Take a Step Outside
Going for a short, brisk walk where you’re breathing fresh air can do wonders for giving your mind and body a restart.
Drink Something Hot
This has the same effect as holding an ice cube. I’ve heard stories of how WWII British soldiers would stop in the middle of battle to brew some tea. I always thought it was just because it was a customary part of that culture. But I wonder if they knew something back then about how a hot cup of tea helps in quieting anxiety.
Sniff a Soothing Scent
“Pick a smell that you associate with relaxation”. Mine is…sulphur! That is because years ago we took a family trip to
Set Aside Time to Worry
I’ve worked with people who have used some object to represent the issue causing anxiety. When they need a break from it, they will lay the object down somewhere and promise to come back and pick it up later to deal with it. It has worked for them.
Write About Your Anxiety
I’ve written here about the huge benefits of journaling. If you haven’t yet tried this activity, I beg you to give it a go. It is much more beneficial than a lot of people think.
Remember to Breathe
In this article they give an exercise to do: breathe in for the count of 5, hold for a count of 2, breathe out for a count of 10. (I use 3-2-7 in my practice.) Three keys for this are as follows: (1) Breathe deeply and fill the bottom part of your lungs. If you struggle with this, imagine filling a balloon with air that is in your stomach, or imagine breathing in through your belly button. (2) Focus on the numbers. Visualise them. When I practice this, my mental numbers are like thick pieces of cotton that are orange and brown. I don’t know why those colours (they’re not my favourite by a long shot), but it helps for me to picture those numbers as I’m counting them. This is all about redirecting your mind away from focussing on anxiety. (3) Repeat the breathing 10-20 times. Doing this just a few times will not have the effect needed to deal with most anxiety.
Bring Yourself Back to Reality
“Grounding” is the popular word used for this technique. The article gives the standard tool for doing this. The benefit of doing this is bringing yourself back to what is rather than what if.
Slow Down
If we ever needed a worldwide mantra right now, this is it! Again, the article gives some suggestions on how to slow down. Can I give one more? Get off your phone! Checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. may feel relaxing, but it is not. Later, I’m going to write a blog post about what phone scrolling is really doing to your life. But you can do a simple search online and find scads of articles that will show you how important it is to find disconnect time between you and your phone.
We live in a world that gives us many opportunities to respond with anxiety. But using these simple tools can give us what we need to manage anxiety and keep living life the way we want.
Lessons from a Hike (3)
19/11/19 Filed in: Change
When I did the Waikaremoana Great Walk, I came up with 15 analogies to making life changes. I fully expected to write about all 15, but I’m ready to move on to other topics. However, I do want to focus on three more today, and then I’ll list the rest of the analogies at the end, giving you the opportunity to develop your own thoughts around them.
So far, we have looked at the following:
7. Refuse to quit. I have never considered myself to be a quitter. I’m just too stubborn, and maybe have too much pride. But I’ll tell you, I would have quit on the second day of the hike in a heartbeat if I could have! As I mentioned earlier, I had started out too quickly, with too much weight, and with too little preparation. I had fallen and broken one of my highly necessary hiking poles. I was dehydrated and
therefore not eating enough. I had not slept well the first night in my cold, wet tent. My legs were constantly on the verge of cramp and collapse. And finally, I was looking at a 500 metre climb the following day. Partway through that second day, I was telling myself that as soon as I got a cell signal, I was going to call for a water taxi to come pick me up at the next stop. However, I never did get a signal. One of the fellow campers even offered to use his personal locator beacon to call for a rescue, and while I did give it a couple of seconds in thought, I realised this was not a rescue situation. I had only one option available to me – keep walking the next day.
I was surprised at how ready I was to quit. As I look back on it now, I’m embarrassed a bit that I was so ready to quit. I didn’t quit on that walk because I had no way of doing so. What the experience has caused me to do is to think about what I needed on that day to take away the mental desire to quit. And more importantly, how does that translate to the discussion about life changes?
In the hiking community there are a handful of suggestions in helping people avoid the quit. And they convert well to life changes.
8. Take care of yourself. That second night, once I realised I had no choice but to continue on, I took stock of what I needed. I put the focus on rehydrating myself first. That took a bit of effort: I had to get water, decontaminate it, drink it down, and then repeat the process. It sounds simple, but at this point, nothing was simple for me. It took a concerted focus. Then I needed to get some food in me. Again, it was not easy and it was the last thing I really wanted to do. But I took the time to prepare the food, sat down, and just focussed on getting the food down. I refused to stop when it got hard because I knew I needed to get some energy. Last, I needed rest! Because I’m a pretty skilled snorer (I choose to see that as a strength) I was asked to not sleep in the bunk room. Instead, I was asked to sleep in the common room – where the cooking, dining, and conversing took place. But I needed sleep. So I pulled out a mattress, asked a couple of people if they could make space for me, put in my ear plugs, and promptly fell asleep in the middle of all that. What mattered to me most that evening was that I needed to take care of myself and give myself the opportunity to continue the journey the next day.
Self-care is a buzz word in the counselling community these days, and justifiably so. Frankly, our society right now stinks at taking care of itself. We hardly ever have quiet moments that give us the opportunity to recharge. And when we do have quiet moments, what’s the first thing we often turn to? The phone and all its capabilities of providing noise and distraction to our already over stressed brain. Listen, making life changes is hard work! You NEED to take care of yourself! You need to rest and recharge. You need quiet times of reflection. If you are going to be successful in making the changes you want to make, you must take care of yourself. And it won’t always be convenient! Sometimes you just have to make it happen, regardless of how you feel or how inconvenient it may be to do so. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. And then do it!
9. Celebrate the victories. I’ve talked about all the difficulties I had on that journey, but it did end well. I did make the 500 metre climb to the top of Panekire. The sign at the beginning of the day’s walk said that it would take me four hours to make it to the top. I did it in 3 hours 45 minutes. It was a long, rainy day where I was alone most of the time. But when I got to the top, there were four of my fellow hikers there to greet me and congratulate me for
making it. Even though it was still raining and there were no views to speak of, I stood outside for a bit and just enjoyed the reality of having made it. Yes, there was still one more day to go and that would be climbing back down those 500 metres. But instead of thinking too much about that, I just celebrated the fact that I had made it to the top. The next morning, the sun was out, the views were great, and I was looking forward to another four hours of walking.
Too often, when we are in the middle of the change process, we can get so focussed on either the difficulties or the reality that we still have not achieved all of our goals, that we forget to celebrate the victories along the way. Perhaps you have gone several days without giving into your addiction. Or you responded to a stressful situation with calm rather than anger. Or you were able to journal about your feelings in a therapeutic way. Or you lost a half kilo after a week of hard work. Whatever the progress, whether it is what you would consider big or small, it is still progress! So celebrate it. Allow yourself the joy of knowing that you are still moving toward your goal. There are not many better places you can find motivation that acknowledging the progress you’ve already made. Are you giving yourself those well-deserved pats on the back?
Beyond these nine analogies, I came up with some others. Perhaps you can spend some time developing these for yourself. I would also like to encourage you to look at some of your own personal life experiences and think about what you have learned through them that you can apply to the change processes you are going through. Working from what you know to what you don’t know can be a great way of expanding your creativity in moving forward.
Here are the rest of my analogies from the Great Walk:
10. In the really hard places, just put one foot in front of the other and repeat.
11. When you fall down, get back up.
12. Find a mantra that keeps you focussed on your journey.
13. When you feel lost – stop, relax, and slowly work your way back to being found.
14. Use one positive change to set yourself up for another positive change.
15. Protect the new changes by continuing to move forward.
By the way, I completed the Walk. Here's the photo I sent to my family as soon as I finished. Look at that joy!!
So far, we have looked at the following:
- Plan all you want but there has to be a point where you just choose to start.
- Hike your own hike. Don’t compare yourself to others.
- Expect the unexpected.
- Accept that progress often involves misery.
- Get rid of excess baggage.
- Accept help from others.
7. Refuse to quit. I have never considered myself to be a quitter. I’m just too stubborn, and maybe have too much pride. But I’ll tell you, I would have quit on the second day of the hike in a heartbeat if I could have! As I mentioned earlier, I had started out too quickly, with too much weight, and with too little preparation. I had fallen and broken one of my highly necessary hiking poles. I was dehydrated and
I was surprised at how ready I was to quit. As I look back on it now, I’m embarrassed a bit that I was so ready to quit. I didn’t quit on that walk because I had no way of doing so. What the experience has caused me to do is to think about what I needed on that day to take away the mental desire to quit. And more importantly, how does that translate to the discussion about life changes?
In the hiking community there are a handful of suggestions in helping people avoid the quit. And they convert well to life changes.
- Don’t quit on a bad day. Everyone has bad days. But bad days are labelled as bad because we compare them to good days, and everyone has good days. So wait for a good day, and then decide if you want to quit. Most of the time, you won’t because the good days are far better than the bad days are bad.
- Ask yourself how you will feel in a week if you quit now. Ask yourself how you will feel in a week if you push on now. This is a good tool to remind us that what we are feeling now is only temporary. Listening to the “future you” can often move you off a quit moment in the present.
- When you feel you have come to the end of your ability, you are usually only about halfway to the real end of your ability. We live in a pretty easy world and have become accustomed to feeling relatively comfortable as a normal way of life. Pushing past the quit moment can teach us much about how much resilience we actually have!
- Remind yourself why you are doing this. When we embark on life changes, it often comes because we have had a significant moment of clarity. Remind yourself of that clarity. Recommit to why you wanted to change in the first place. Ask yourself what happens if you choose to disregard that clarity. People who quit often eventually come back to that same moment of clarity and start all over again. Remind yourself that it’s easier to push through this difficult moment than to quit and have to start all over again later.
8. Take care of yourself. That second night, once I realised I had no choice but to continue on, I took stock of what I needed. I put the focus on rehydrating myself first. That took a bit of effort: I had to get water, decontaminate it, drink it down, and then repeat the process. It sounds simple, but at this point, nothing was simple for me. It took a concerted focus. Then I needed to get some food in me. Again, it was not easy and it was the last thing I really wanted to do. But I took the time to prepare the food, sat down, and just focussed on getting the food down. I refused to stop when it got hard because I knew I needed to get some energy. Last, I needed rest! Because I’m a pretty skilled snorer (I choose to see that as a strength) I was asked to not sleep in the bunk room. Instead, I was asked to sleep in the common room – where the cooking, dining, and conversing took place. But I needed sleep. So I pulled out a mattress, asked a couple of people if they could make space for me, put in my ear plugs, and promptly fell asleep in the middle of all that. What mattered to me most that evening was that I needed to take care of myself and give myself the opportunity to continue the journey the next day.
Self-care is a buzz word in the counselling community these days, and justifiably so. Frankly, our society right now stinks at taking care of itself. We hardly ever have quiet moments that give us the opportunity to recharge. And when we do have quiet moments, what’s the first thing we often turn to? The phone and all its capabilities of providing noise and distraction to our already over stressed brain. Listen, making life changes is hard work! You NEED to take care of yourself! You need to rest and recharge. You need quiet times of reflection. If you are going to be successful in making the changes you want to make, you must take care of yourself. And it won’t always be convenient! Sometimes you just have to make it happen, regardless of how you feel or how inconvenient it may be to do so. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. And then do it!
9. Celebrate the victories. I’ve talked about all the difficulties I had on that journey, but it did end well. I did make the 500 metre climb to the top of Panekire. The sign at the beginning of the day’s walk said that it would take me four hours to make it to the top. I did it in 3 hours 45 minutes. It was a long, rainy day where I was alone most of the time. But when I got to the top, there were four of my fellow hikers there to greet me and congratulate me for
Too often, when we are in the middle of the change process, we can get so focussed on either the difficulties or the reality that we still have not achieved all of our goals, that we forget to celebrate the victories along the way. Perhaps you have gone several days without giving into your addiction. Or you responded to a stressful situation with calm rather than anger. Or you were able to journal about your feelings in a therapeutic way. Or you lost a half kilo after a week of hard work. Whatever the progress, whether it is what you would consider big or small, it is still progress! So celebrate it. Allow yourself the joy of knowing that you are still moving toward your goal. There are not many better places you can find motivation that acknowledging the progress you’ve already made. Are you giving yourself those well-deserved pats on the back?
Beyond these nine analogies, I came up with some others. Perhaps you can spend some time developing these for yourself. I would also like to encourage you to look at some of your own personal life experiences and think about what you have learned through them that you can apply to the change processes you are going through. Working from what you know to what you don’t know can be a great way of expanding your creativity in moving forward.
Here are the rest of my analogies from the Great Walk:
10. In the really hard places, just put one foot in front of the other and repeat.
11. When you fall down, get back up.
12. Find a mantra that keeps you focussed on your journey.
13. When you feel lost – stop, relax, and slowly work your way back to being found.
14. Use one positive change to set yourself up for another positive change.
15. Protect the new changes by continuing to move forward.
By the way, I completed the Walk. Here's the photo I sent to my family as soon as I finished. Look at that joy!!
Ever try to start journaling, but just didn't know how to do it? Me too.
30/10/18 Filed in: Journalling | Self-Care
Let’s start off with one thing first…I’m a 53-year old man. I like sports like ice hockey and mixed martial arts. I played football, basketball, and dabbled in baseball in high school. I just walked 900 kms across Spain. I don’t like the colour pink, nor cats. I have grown awesome beards (so I’ve been told), and love to ride my motorcycle.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
few leather notebooks over the years to write my thoughts down. I've sat down, stared at the page, and put the notebook away for another time when I might be inspired. Up until this last year, I have never – and I mean never – been successful at journaling.
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.