January 2019
Don't Look, Don't Look, Don't Look. Ah, Nuts! I Looked
10/01/19 Filed in: Change
As far as Memes go, I don’t necessarily disagree with any of these twelve points on how to be mentally strong. But I do highly disagree with the idea that this is an 
inspirational meme.
I’m going to ask you two questions; notice your immediate response to your answers. Ready?
1. What is the first word in each of the twelve points?
2. What is your emotional reaction to that word?
Now hold onto those answers for a minute.
I have taught for years that using “don’t” as a method of motivation just doesn’t work. (Yes, I see what I did there.) I often illustrate its ineffectiveness by saying to a person, “Don’t look at that picture on the wall to your right. Don’t look at it. Please don’t look at it.”
Now, what does that make you want to do? Yep, LOOK AT IT!
However, if I don’t want you to look at the picture on your right, I can say, “Look at the tree out the window to your left. Look at it! Isn’t it beautiful?”
Now, what does that make you want to do? Yep, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! And in the process, what are you not looking at? The picture to your right.
You see what I’m saying? Too often, when we are trying to make changes in our life, we focus most of our attention on what NOT to do. But as we are focusing on what NOT to do, we end up doing it! Why? Because that’s what we’re focusing on! However, when we find activities, thoughts, attitudes, etc. that are positive expressions of what we’d like to do instead, and put our focus on those things, then we don’t have time to think about the don’ts. (Yeah, I know, I did it again.)
Go back and have a look at these twelve points of how to be mentally strong. What happens when you put them in a look-here style of wording?
Enjoy alone time.
Learn from the past; live in the present; prepare for the future.
Invest energy in what you can control.
Rejoice with other people in their successes.
Do you see what happens? This now gives me proactive suggestions rather than reactive ones. And proactivity is far more powerful that reactivity.
So, don’t focus on don’ts. (Just kidding). Focus on do’s. What are you trying to change in your life? If you have a list of don’t looks, spend some time now changing them into look here’s.
I’m going to ask you two questions; notice your immediate response to your answers. Ready?
1. What is the first word in each of the twelve points?
2. What is your emotional reaction to that word?
Now hold onto those answers for a minute.
I have taught for years that using “don’t” as a method of motivation just doesn’t work. (Yes, I see what I did there.) I often illustrate its ineffectiveness by saying to a person, “Don’t look at that picture on the wall to your right. Don’t look at it. Please don’t look at it.”
Now, what does that make you want to do? Yep, LOOK AT IT!
However, if I don’t want you to look at the picture on your right, I can say, “Look at the tree out the window to your left. Look at it! Isn’t it beautiful?”
Now, what does that make you want to do? Yep, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! And in the process, what are you not looking at? The picture to your right.
You see what I’m saying? Too often, when we are trying to make changes in our life, we focus most of our attention on what NOT to do. But as we are focusing on what NOT to do, we end up doing it! Why? Because that’s what we’re focusing on! However, when we find activities, thoughts, attitudes, etc. that are positive expressions of what we’d like to do instead, and put our focus on those things, then we don’t have time to think about the don’ts. (Yeah, I know, I did it again.)
Go back and have a look at these twelve points of how to be mentally strong. What happens when you put them in a look-here style of wording?
Enjoy alone time.
Learn from the past; live in the present; prepare for the future.
Invest energy in what you can control.
Rejoice with other people in their successes.
Do you see what happens? This now gives me proactive suggestions rather than reactive ones. And proactivity is far more powerful that reactivity.
So, don’t focus on don’ts. (Just kidding). Focus on do’s. What are you trying to change in your life? If you have a list of don’t looks, spend some time now changing them into look here’s.