September 2019
Five Tools to Use with Depression (part 1)
30/09/19 Filed in: Depression
Early in 2019 I went through a couple of months of dark depression. I was facing a time in my life when I felt I had no past to be grounded to, nor a future to look forward to. Granted, my walk through the mud of depression was relatively short, but it was intense. It was during this time that I go
t to practice what I had been preaching for several years in my counselling work. One of those "sermons" was looking at five common tools often promoted as useful in walking through depression.
I'll list the five tools in my next blog post. But first, I feel there are a few fundamental thoughts I came to in my own experience that I'd like for you to consider.
Number 1 - please don't try to use all five tools at the same time! If you think of a toolbox you have at home, it may help give you a mental picture of how this works. You would never reach into your toolbox and try to use a hammer, screwdriver, wrench, saw, and tape measure at the same time! It's the same with these depression tools - you will probably want to use no more than two at a time together.
Number 2 - have a look at the list and decide which one (or two) feel most doable for you right now. Start with those. If you find they are not working, then experiment with some of the others. You may find that you have energy to focus on only one tool. Or you may find a combination of two works better than a combination of another two. Which one(s) you choose to use are completely personal to how you are in the moment.
Number 3 - these tools are not quick-fix schemes. Depression has often been likened to walking through mud. When you find yourself in thigh-deep mud, you don't just hop out of it. You keep
making progress (although often painfully slow) until you realise that the mud is only knee deep, and then calf deep, and then ankle deep. The speed of the progress varies from person to person. But take note of where the depression mud feels every couple of days. Sometimes it feels deeper, sometimes the same, and sometimes shallower. You might even want to chart your experience so you can have a long view of your journey.
Number 4 - Depression ends when depression ends. If you've been experiencing depression for a while you will have probably run into some well-meaning but misinformed friends who have said something like, "Just snap out of it" or "Look at the bright side of life". The tools we will look at next help you manage the depression, and may give you needed direction as you slog through the mud. But telling yourself that you have to be done with depression by a certain time frame is both unhelpful and unfair to you.
Number 5 - Find someone to share your walk. I'm not saying to go look for someone else who is worse off than you. I am saying to find a friend, family member, or counsellor who will not try to fix you, but will instead listen to your journey and be with you in the moment. Finding validation from a trusted person can often be one of the more helpful experiences when going through depression.
When I went through my short, sharp walk with depression, I had to remind myself of these above thoughts often. There were some very dark days when getting out of bed was THE accomplishment of the day. You may be feeling something of the same. If you want someone to talk with you about this, please contact me through this website. You don't have to go through depression alone. There is a way through.
I'll list the five tools in my next blog post. But first, I feel there are a few fundamental thoughts I came to in my own experience that I'd like for you to consider.
Number 1 - please don't try to use all five tools at the same time! If you think of a toolbox you have at home, it may help give you a mental picture of how this works. You would never reach into your toolbox and try to use a hammer, screwdriver, wrench, saw, and tape measure at the same time! It's the same with these depression tools - you will probably want to use no more than two at a time together.
Number 2 - have a look at the list and decide which one (or two) feel most doable for you right now. Start with those. If you find they are not working, then experiment with some of the others. You may find that you have energy to focus on only one tool. Or you may find a combination of two works better than a combination of another two. Which one(s) you choose to use are completely personal to how you are in the moment.
Number 3 - these tools are not quick-fix schemes. Depression has often been likened to walking through mud. When you find yourself in thigh-deep mud, you don't just hop out of it. You keep
Number 4 - Depression ends when depression ends. If you've been experiencing depression for a while you will have probably run into some well-meaning but misinformed friends who have said something like, "Just snap out of it" or "Look at the bright side of life". The tools we will look at next help you manage the depression, and may give you needed direction as you slog through the mud. But telling yourself that you have to be done with depression by a certain time frame is both unhelpful and unfair to you.
Number 5 - Find someone to share your walk. I'm not saying to go look for someone else who is worse off than you. I am saying to find a friend, family member, or counsellor who will not try to fix you, but will instead listen to your journey and be with you in the moment. Finding validation from a trusted person can often be one of the more helpful experiences when going through depression.
When I went through my short, sharp walk with depression, I had to remind myself of these above thoughts often. There were some very dark days when getting out of bed was THE accomplishment of the day. You may be feeling something of the same. If you want someone to talk with you about this, please contact me through this website. You don't have to go through depression alone. There is a way through.