processing
Why So Much Division around Covid Issues?
08/10/21 Filed in: Values
A while back I saw on someone’s social media page a cut-and-paste post that supported his position on one of the present-day Covid related controversies. The re-poster then called everyone who disagreed with him a sheep.
Hmmmmm. So if I accept your position without doing my own thinking I’m not a sheep, but I if reject your position, even if I’ve really thought about it, I am a sheep. Seems like a lose-lose situation for me.
It got me thinking about why people are so divided on all the issues around Covid right now. Mask or not? Vax or not? Government conspiracy or not? And the list goes on. There doesn’t really seem to be a lot of middle ground on the issues these days. What’s happening?
It is interesting to me how many people have become experts in areas where they have no training at all. I just don’t know how many soccer moms, store clerks, church leaders, or truck drivers have been able to become immunologists, doctors, science researchers, or health specialists. The online battles then aren’t really about who has the best science. This isn’t about sharing and defending personal research in these areas.
Then what is this about? Why are people so strong in their views? Why are people so ready to defend as gospel truth an opinion of a person they have never met? Why do people choose out of ALL the variety of positions to repost only certain ones?
It’s about values.
We all have them. Even if we don’t know what they are, we have them. And they affect every part of our life every day…like what we choose to believe about all the Covid stuff.
In a sense, because of your values, you were ready to take a side before Covid was even a thing. Look back at your past posts and positions. They more than likely already had the same tone as what you have now. Your statements around politics, sports, food, family, pets, etc. will all have reflected your values.
Do you value Freedom? Do you hate the idea of anyone telling you what to do? Then you probably are strongly against the government mandating anything.
Do you value Unconventionality? Do you like to stand out in a crowd? Then you probably are going to take whatever position is the most unpopular.
Do you value Peace? Do you strive to keep everyone around you happy? Then you probably are going to choose the position that is most accepted by those you value.
And there’s nothing wrong with this…except that many won’t own up to the fact that they are making choices based on their own values rather than personal scientific research.
So have your strong beliefs. But own the fact that you have them because they line up with what you already value. And then be gracious enough to allow someone with different values to have different opinions…without calling them a sheep!
Hmmmmm. So if I accept your position without doing my own thinking I’m not a sheep, but I if reject your position, even if I’ve really thought about it, I am a sheep. Seems like a lose-lose situation for me.
It is interesting to me how many people have become experts in areas where they have no training at all. I just don’t know how many soccer moms, store clerks, church leaders, or truck drivers have been able to become immunologists, doctors, science researchers, or health specialists. The online battles then aren’t really about who has the best science. This isn’t about sharing and defending personal research in these areas.
Then what is this about? Why are people so strong in their views? Why are people so ready to defend as gospel truth an opinion of a person they have never met? Why do people choose out of ALL the variety of positions to repost only certain ones?
It’s about values.
We all have them. Even if we don’t know what they are, we have them. And they affect every part of our life every day…like what we choose to believe about all the Covid stuff.
In a sense, because of your values, you were ready to take a side before Covid was even a thing. Look back at your past posts and positions. They more than likely already had the same tone as what you have now. Your statements around politics, sports, food, family, pets, etc. will all have reflected your values.
Do you value Freedom? Do you hate the idea of anyone telling you what to do? Then you probably are strongly against the government mandating anything.
Do you value Unconventionality? Do you like to stand out in a crowd? Then you probably are going to take whatever position is the most unpopular.
Do you value Peace? Do you strive to keep everyone around you happy? Then you probably are going to choose the position that is most accepted by those you value.
And there’s nothing wrong with this…except that many won’t own up to the fact that they are making choices based on their own values rather than personal scientific research.
So have your strong beliefs. But own the fact that you have them because they line up with what you already value. And then be gracious enough to allow someone with different values to have different opinions…without calling them a sheep!
Ever try to start journaling, but just didn't know how to do it? Me too.
30/10/18 Filed in: Journalling | Self-Care
Let’s start off with one thing first…I’m a 53-year old man. I like sports like ice hockey and mixed martial arts. I played football, basketball, and dabbled in baseball in high school. I just walked 900 kms across Spain. I don’t like the colour pink, nor cats. I have grown awesome beards (so I’ve been told), and love to ride my motorcycle.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
few leather notebooks over the years to write my thoughts down. I've sat down, stared at the page, and put the notebook away for another time when I might be inspired. Up until this last year, I have never – and I mean never – been successful at journaling.
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.