Self-Care
Ever try to start journaling, but just didn't know how to do it? Me too.
30/10/18
Let’s start off with one thing first…I’m a 53-year old man. I like sports like ice hockey and mixed martial arts. I played football, basketball, and dabbled in baseball in high school. I just walked 900 kms across Spain. I don’t like the colour pink, nor cats. I have grown awesome beards (so I’ve been told), and love to ride my motorcycle.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
few leather notebooks over the years to write my thoughts down. I've sat down, stared at the page, and put the notebook away for another time when I might be inspired. Up until this last year, I have never – and I mean never – been successful at journaling.
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.
And I like journaling.
I am not a 14-year old girl. I would not say I am all that in touch with my feminine side. I can’t cook, dance, or draw.
But I like to journal.
I’ve always loved the idea of writing…when I was 10 years old, I wanted to be an author when I grew up. I’ve bought a
Yet, it has been identified as one of the most helpful self-care tools around these days. (Have a read of this article). And so, I decided to try it again. I read an article or two about how to do this, bought a NEW notebook, and just started it up. Now I consider it an absolute joy and necessity as part of my personal self-care. And boy, have I needed it here recently. Having just gone through a major life change (leaving a church ministry after 19 years), journaling has been a very helpful part of processing all the stuff.
I want to give you, oh one-who-wants-to-journal-but-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-yet reader, some of the things I have found helpful for me in making this a consistent and enjoyable practice.
1. GET A COOL NOTEBOOK
Before I started journaling this time, I got another inviting notebook. My choice is Mokeskine Classic. I like the size of it, the way it fits in my hand, the simple look, the manliness of it. But you’ll find your own fit. Any stationery store worth it’s salt will have a vast collection from which to choose.
2. GET A SPECIAL PEN
Maybe I’m just weird, but I’m pretty picky about what I write with. Being left-handed, I already start way behind the 8-ball in penmanship. Plus, after years of computer work, I don’t have hand-stamina when it comes to writing. So, the fix for me was to get a fountain pen - the kind you have to dip in ink. I love it. It works for me.
3. DON’T FEEL YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERY DAY
For someone who is organised and gets focussed on discipline, record-keeping, and keeping commitments, this was a huge find for me. I write when I want to. The longest times between writings so far is 11 days. But I’ve also written twice on a day. I write when I’m ready, and when I’m ready – I write. I don’t put it off. Because the purpose of my kind of journaling is to record how I’m feeling in that moment. If I wait until later that evening, the moment is lost.
4. WRITE FOR 15 MINUTES
This is another huge part of my consistency. I limit myself (for the most part) to 15 minutes. For me, that’s writing one page in my journal. A few times, I’ve gone two pages, and once I went three (but I had pasted a photo in there too). Limiting myself to 15 minutes does a couple of things for me. First, it gives me a stopping point. Most men – and I think I’ve already defined myself as that above – want…need… the knowledge that what they are doing will end. If I have to write “until I get everything out,” I’ll stop before I start. Second, it keeps me from writing too much detail (I’ll add more about that in a minute). I’m a details guy and can easily get lost in them. A 15-minute time limit keeps me from chasing those detail rabbits down their labyrinth of trails.
5. FORGET STRUCTURE
I’m a bit of a grammar nazi. Ask my Facebook friends. But when I’m journaling, that characteristic goes out the window. I leave out paragraphs. I don’t worry about thought progression. And I’ve even been known to end a sentence with a preposition and NO punctuation. ..... See? I can do it! With journaling, I find it more important to be thinking about the process than the product.
6. FOCUS ON THE FEELINGS
Here is where the difference between journaling and reporting comes out. I’ll write a bit about an event, but not everything that happened in it, and not everything that was said. Journaling like this is more about processing unspoken, unconscious thoughts and feelings. And sometimes, as I’m writing that out, answers to problems also come out. I don’t write for that purpose, but there is something about “free-writing” that taps into different parts of your brain that unlocks stuff you wouldn't normally get to that easily.
7. WRITE ABOUT ALL THE STUFF (the bad AND the good)
Most stereotypical thoughts on journaling are that it’s all about the bad stuff. And that certainly is a big part of this activity. However, I’ve found it just as therapeutic to write about the good things that have happened as well. This is important, especially if you are a glass-half-empty kind of person.
8. STORE IT SECURELY
If you share a house with others, you’ll want to sort this out. There’s nothing like the freedom of knowing that what I write will only be seen by me, unless I decide to share it with someone else. I have a safe for my counselling practice; it also serves as the home for my journal when I’m not writing.
9. TITLE THE ENTRIES
This is something I’ve just recently started doing. I read through each entry and picked out one phrase that summed up what I was writing about at that time. That way, I can scan the titles at the top of the page and it serves to remind me quickly what was going on that day.
So that’s me. This works for me and I can see this happening for a long time to come.