A Word About Overthinking

06/04/20 Filed in: Anxiety | Thoughts

overthinking
I’m hearing a lot of people these days using “overthinking” as part of their analysis of what’s going on in the world.

“There’s too much overthinking going on.”
“We don’t want to overthink this.”
“Do you think we’re overthinking?”

I hear people in the counselling room saying similar things about the issues they’re going through.

 “I think I overthink too much.”
“My wife's problem is that she is overthinking about what I say to her.”
“How do I stop overthinking about this?”

In actuality, I don’t think most people’s problem is overthinking; I think it is underthinking!

Follow my logic for a moment:
Problem event: “I might lose my job because the business isn’t making money during this pandemic.”
Responding thought process:
  • “What will happen if I lose my job?”
  • “I’ll lose my house – I’ll get kicked out on the streets – the government will take my kids away – I’ll have to steal to get food – I’ll get arrested and thrown in prison – I’ll die all alone!”
  • "Help! I’m overthinking!!!!"
OK…let’s take a breath just for a minute. Is it actually true that your business isn’t making any money during the pandemic? What are other possibilities?
  • The business does have savings that can be tapped into.
  • The government is giving some help to businesses to help pay their employees
  • The business leaders are pretty creative and can find some other ways for the business to make money during this pandemic.
Now let’s look at possibilities IF the business is truly going to go under during this pandemic. Are there other possible results from you losing your job other than losing your house and ending up dying alone in a jail cell?
  • I do have some personal savings I can rely on
  • My expenses are way down meaning the money I do have will last longer
  • The banks are offering mortgage holidays to help people in my situation which will keep me from losing my house
  • I have some pretty marketable skills and will probably be able to find another job pretty quickly
These are just some examples of thinking through possible outcomes to the initial problem.

The hypothetical overthinker who ended up dying in prison alone actually under-thought the possibilities. This person only thought long enough to find one possible financial impact of the pandemic rather than creating a list of possibilities.

If you are struggling in this way, can I invite you to consider a different way of thinking through problems?
  1. Identify the problem event. Be clear on what is actually happening – not what you think might be happening.
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  2. Identify all the possible reasons or results for what has happened. All of them. Every single possibility – even if you think it is ridiculous.
  3. Now go back through your list and give a general percentage of how possible that thought might be.
  • For example:
  • I’m going to lose my house and be out on the street (5%)
  • I do have some personal savings I can rely on (25%)
  • My expenses are way down meaning the money I do have will last longer (75%)
  • The banks are offering mortgage holidays to help people in my situation which will keep me from losing my house (90%)
  • I have some pretty marketable skills and will probably be able to find another job pretty quickly (75%)
When you go through this exercise, you can quickly see that by spending a little more time thinking through possible outcomes, you are provided with better hope for the future.

So if you get caught up in an “overthinking trail”, stop and ask yourself if you are actually underthinking the possibilities. Get a piece of paper, write all the stuff, give it a percentage, and then take a breath, reminding yourself that most of what we fear never actually happens.



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