Self-Care
Hiking the Great Walk
28/10/19
A week ago I hiked the Waikaremoana Great Walk, 46 kilometres in New Zealand bush. It was both a long-time dream come true AND one of the hardest things I have ever done! There were points along the way where I enjoyed the sheer exhilaration of walking hour after hour through New Zealand native bush, and other points where, if I could have, I would have called for someone to come get me out of there! The weather provided rain for two days straight - including one night in an unproven and ultimately unreliable tent - 
and then gave me stunningly clear weather on the last day when I was 1100 metres above sea level. I hiked alone for hours at a time and then enjoyed the company of fellow backpackers in the evenings huddled around a struggling fire at night. I followed a clearly marked path for four days, and then got lost 15 minutes from the end. All in all, the walk was a great study in extremes and contrasts – a study I have had time to reflect on since.
One of the reflections involves a metaphorical look at the various experiences on the different days of hiking in comparison to church ministry.
I walked nearly 17 kilometres that first day. At the beginning, my legs were fresh. I had all the supplies I needed. I was excited about the journey ahead. And I took
off with all the confidence of someone who knew the path ahead would be full of fun and excitement. And it was, for the most part. Sure, there were some hard parts – unexpected mud, short and steep climbs, a backpack that seemed to grow heavier as the day went by. But I was feeling good, still relatively fresh. There were also some uncomfortable moments, like swing bridges that seemed to swing a lot more than they bridged. But I still felt a quiet confidence in those moments.
However, I made two big mistakes that day.
First, I let myself get very dehydrated. I carried a water bottle in my backpack, but because it was just too inconvenient to stop, remove the backpack, get the bottle out, drink, put the bottle back, put the backpack back on, and then get going again, I did not drink anywhere near enough water. The second big mistake is that I did not rest enough that first day. I just kept charging on, focussed on covering kilometres. I certainly fell into the trap of “destination over journey” that caused me to rush the progress.
I finished the day at the camp site at which I intended to finish. I got there about the time I expected to get there. I had enough energy and time to set up my tent, prepare one of those dehydrated backpacking meals (yuck!), and get organised for that first night’s sleep. But I had done some big damage that day that would make the next day nearly unbearable. And that’s what I want to think about in terms of ministry.
The Journey Begins
Ah, the early years of ministry! You have finished Bible training - ready to change the world. You are fresh, well-trained, and have an idealistic plan for how this journey will go. Sure, there will be some unexpected moments early on, but you have enough energy and momentum to keep going. You feel unstoppable and see early successes. You enjoy seeing lives changed, God’s power working in unexpected ways, and are so grateful you are a part of God’s plans for your community.
Perhaps you are still in those early years where you see most of your ministry ahead of you rather than behind you. What wonderful years those are! There are so many more miles to travel: ministries to try, sermons to preach, lives to impact, spiritual lessons to learn. They truly are wonderful years.
However, there are a couple of dangers you face:
Spiritual Dehydration
Just like my experience on the Great Walk, pastors can get spiritually dehydrated. The water is there, but with the busyness of ministry, it can be inconvenient at times to get that much-needed spiritual drink. At first, you don’t really feel the effects of spiritual dryness. You’re able to keep moving with residual effects from Bible training days. However, you begin to slow down, have less energy, and generally don’t feel as good about what is going on as you might have expected.
The Psalmist wrote, “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?” This verse highlights two aspects of keeping spiritually hydrated.
First, the remedy for thirst is the living God! Not seminars, books, conferences, or even – dare I say it – deeper Bible study. It is God Himself. If you are not deepening your relationship with God, you will slowly dry up - even with these spiritual activities.
Second, the remedy for thirst depends on your choice. The Psalmist asks: “When shall I come and appear before God?” The answer: “When I make the decision to do so.” You cannot blame your busy schedule on anyone but you. You cannot say, “I would like to spend more time in God’s presence just connecting with Him, but I have too much to do: too many appointments, decisions, meetings, studies, etc.” You will make time to do what is important for you to do. Plain and simple. Young pastor – please avoid spiritual dehydration by staying in God’s presence! Please don’t make the mistake of thinking working for God is the same as being with God.
Rushing the Process
On my hike, I didn’t stop and rest enough. And when I did stop, I was constantly thinking about getting going again. Therefore, I didn’t rest long enough and I didn’t get any enjoyment from the rest I was getting!
I see young pastors doing something like this all the time. I’ve heard 20-something year old pastors bragging about working a minimum of 70-80 hours a week. And you know, they have the physical stamina to do that…for a while. But that will catch up with you! You are a human. You are designed to need rest.
“Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.” I heard it many times when preparing for entry into God’s work.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the words of tired old men.”
No, they're the words of experienced men in ministry who have learned – often a bit too late – that rest is a vital element for ministry effectiveness and longevity. Pastor, are you taking time to rest? Are you? You do need to rest. You do need to take off the backpack of responsibility and enjoy some relaxation time.
The second day of my hike was one of the lowest days of my life! I was drained, dehydrated, cold, wet, discouraged, and looking for a way out. Had I been more careful on the first day, the second day would have been much easier.
Pastor, the second phase of your ministry is coming.
Are you taking care of yourself now so that you will have what is needed to thrive?
Are you keeping yourself spiritually hydrated through a genuine relationship with the Lord?
Are you taking the time to rest?
One of the reflections involves a metaphorical look at the various experiences on the different days of hiking in comparison to church ministry.
I walked nearly 17 kilometres that first day. At the beginning, my legs were fresh. I had all the supplies I needed. I was excited about the journey ahead. And I took
However, I made two big mistakes that day.
First, I let myself get very dehydrated. I carried a water bottle in my backpack, but because it was just too inconvenient to stop, remove the backpack, get the bottle out, drink, put the bottle back, put the backpack back on, and then get going again, I did not drink anywhere near enough water. The second big mistake is that I did not rest enough that first day. I just kept charging on, focussed on covering kilometres. I certainly fell into the trap of “destination over journey” that caused me to rush the progress.
I finished the day at the camp site at which I intended to finish. I got there about the time I expected to get there. I had enough energy and time to set up my tent, prepare one of those dehydrated backpacking meals (yuck!), and get organised for that first night’s sleep. But I had done some big damage that day that would make the next day nearly unbearable. And that’s what I want to think about in terms of ministry.
The Journey Begins
Ah, the early years of ministry! You have finished Bible training - ready to change the world. You are fresh, well-trained, and have an idealistic plan for how this journey will go. Sure, there will be some unexpected moments early on, but you have enough energy and momentum to keep going. You feel unstoppable and see early successes. You enjoy seeing lives changed, God’s power working in unexpected ways, and are so grateful you are a part of God’s plans for your community.
Perhaps you are still in those early years where you see most of your ministry ahead of you rather than behind you. What wonderful years those are! There are so many more miles to travel: ministries to try, sermons to preach, lives to impact, spiritual lessons to learn. They truly are wonderful years.
However, there are a couple of dangers you face:
Spiritual Dehydration
Just like my experience on the Great Walk, pastors can get spiritually dehydrated. The water is there, but with the busyness of ministry, it can be inconvenient at times to get that much-needed spiritual drink. At first, you don’t really feel the effects of spiritual dryness. You’re able to keep moving with residual effects from Bible training days. However, you begin to slow down, have less energy, and generally don’t feel as good about what is going on as you might have expected.
The Psalmist wrote, “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?” This verse highlights two aspects of keeping spiritually hydrated.
First, the remedy for thirst is the living God! Not seminars, books, conferences, or even – dare I say it – deeper Bible study. It is God Himself. If you are not deepening your relationship with God, you will slowly dry up - even with these spiritual activities.
Second, the remedy for thirst depends on your choice. The Psalmist asks: “When shall I come and appear before God?” The answer: “When I make the decision to do so.” You cannot blame your busy schedule on anyone but you. You cannot say, “I would like to spend more time in God’s presence just connecting with Him, but I have too much to do: too many appointments, decisions, meetings, studies, etc.” You will make time to do what is important for you to do. Plain and simple. Young pastor – please avoid spiritual dehydration by staying in God’s presence! Please don’t make the mistake of thinking working for God is the same as being with God.
Rushing the Process
On my hike, I didn’t stop and rest enough. And when I did stop, I was constantly thinking about getting going again. Therefore, I didn’t rest long enough and I didn’t get any enjoyment from the rest I was getting!
“Ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.” I heard it many times when preparing for entry into God’s work.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are the words of tired old men.”
No, they're the words of experienced men in ministry who have learned – often a bit too late – that rest is a vital element for ministry effectiveness and longevity. Pastor, are you taking time to rest? Are you? You do need to rest. You do need to take off the backpack of responsibility and enjoy some relaxation time.
The second day of my hike was one of the lowest days of my life! I was drained, dehydrated, cold, wet, discouraged, and looking for a way out. Had I been more careful on the first day, the second day would have been much easier.
Pastor, the second phase of your ministry is coming.
Are you taking care of yourself now so that you will have what is needed to thrive?
Are you keeping yourself spiritually hydrated through a genuine relationship with the Lord?
Are you taking the time to rest?
Nourishing Your Soul
13/11/18
I remember the first time I had to wear a cast. I had broken fingers due to a soccer mishap when I was 11 years old. (Note: when you are the goalie, do NOT try to pick up the ball at the same time one of your fullbacks is kicking it!) I wore a cast up to my elbow for six weeks. It was still the hot part of the year. I was active. And sweaty. Very sweaty for an 11-year old. The inevitable itch-in-the-middle-of-the-cast developed. Have you ever had an itch you just couldn’t get to at all? Misery.
That’s the memory that was invoked when I read this
meme. Have you ever been tired in your soul - that deepest part of who you are? You can sleep all you want, but your soul still feels heavy, tired, and unenergised.
How do you recharge your soul?
Can I suggest four activities that can help answer that question?
1. Strengthen your relationship with God. Because God made the soul, He best knows how to recharge it. We live in such a small world these days with so many voices shouting their opinions. One of the consequences of that is massive distraction from what is really important. And this is one of those really important matters. I find that even church leaders can grow cold in a daily walk with God. God is seen more of a CEO they report to a few times a week, rather than Someone who has invited them to know Him on a personal basis. If you’re trying to recharge your soul without doing anything about your relationship with God, well, you might wanna rethink that!
2. Strengthen your relationship with others. I have a few friends who, when I spend time with them, absolutely recharge my soul. They get a good look at me, my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, my disappointments, my victories, and my defeats…and they share all that with me without judgement, unasked-for advice, or rejection. Do you have someone in your life you can bear everything to and know they will love and accept you regardless? These kinds of friends are priceless, and those friendships need to be protected with everything you have. If you don’t have that kind of friend, be assured there are others looking for you…because they don’t have that kind of friend either. Explore the friendships you have; see if you can nurture some of them into soul-nourishing relationships.
3. Do self-care…really. Self-care is the buzzword of the 2000s. Some like to write it off by complaining that our generation has become a bunch of softies who would never be able to stand the rigors of past generations. That may be so for some, but take a look at the environment in which this generation lives. When do we EVER switch off? When do we get to disconnect from the expectations, responsibilities, and busyness of our lives? One of my favourite moments from the Andy Griffith show is when Andy and Barney are sitting on Andy’s porch. They have a five minute conversation that goes something like this: B: “You know what I’m going to do?” (Long pause) A: “No, what?” (Long pause) B: “I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” (Long pause) B: “Ye-e-e-e-p, I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” (Long pause) A: “Yep. Sounds good.” (very long pause). B: “Ye-e-e-e-p, I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” And then the conversation starts all over again. I don’t know if Barney ever did go get that bottle of pop, but you know what they were doing? Self-care! When is the last time you sat quietly for any length of time and did NOTHING? When is the last time you disconnected from your responsibility and expectations? Even if you’re an active relaxer, you still need to disconnect so you can recharge your soul.
4. Build your knowledge. I have found that if I’m not learning, my soul gets weary. I think we are built with an intrinsic desire to learn. There is something soul-nourishing about growing our understanding of something in this world. So whether it be learning a new skill, joining a book club, reading about history, or any of the myriad of methods of growing knowledge, this is a vital tool in nourishing your soul. When is the last time you learned something because YOU initiated the learning? I’m not talking about having to learn something for school or a job, but because it interested you. Pick up a book, take a class, learn something. It will bring back energy to your soul.
So there you have it, four ways of scratching an itch that sleep can’t reach. Re-energising your soul.
That’s the memory that was invoked when I read this
How do you recharge your soul?
Can I suggest four activities that can help answer that question?
1. Strengthen your relationship with God. Because God made the soul, He best knows how to recharge it. We live in such a small world these days with so many voices shouting their opinions. One of the consequences of that is massive distraction from what is really important. And this is one of those really important matters. I find that even church leaders can grow cold in a daily walk with God. God is seen more of a CEO they report to a few times a week, rather than Someone who has invited them to know Him on a personal basis. If you’re trying to recharge your soul without doing anything about your relationship with God, well, you might wanna rethink that!
2. Strengthen your relationship with others. I have a few friends who, when I spend time with them, absolutely recharge my soul. They get a good look at me, my strengths, my weaknesses, my dreams, my disappointments, my victories, and my defeats…and they share all that with me without judgement, unasked-for advice, or rejection. Do you have someone in your life you can bear everything to and know they will love and accept you regardless? These kinds of friends are priceless, and those friendships need to be protected with everything you have. If you don’t have that kind of friend, be assured there are others looking for you…because they don’t have that kind of friend either. Explore the friendships you have; see if you can nurture some of them into soul-nourishing relationships.
3. Do self-care…really. Self-care is the buzzword of the 2000s. Some like to write it off by complaining that our generation has become a bunch of softies who would never be able to stand the rigors of past generations. That may be so for some, but take a look at the environment in which this generation lives. When do we EVER switch off? When do we get to disconnect from the expectations, responsibilities, and busyness of our lives? One of my favourite moments from the Andy Griffith show is when Andy and Barney are sitting on Andy’s porch. They have a five minute conversation that goes something like this: B: “You know what I’m going to do?” (Long pause) A: “No, what?” (Long pause) B: “I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” (Long pause) B: “Ye-e-e-e-p, I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” (Long pause) A: “Yep. Sounds good.” (very long pause). B: “Ye-e-e-e-p, I’m gonna go down to the fillin’ station and get me a bottle of pop.” And then the conversation starts all over again. I don’t know if Barney ever did go get that bottle of pop, but you know what they were doing? Self-care! When is the last time you sat quietly for any length of time and did NOTHING? When is the last time you disconnected from your responsibility and expectations? Even if you’re an active relaxer, you still need to disconnect so you can recharge your soul.
4. Build your knowledge. I have found that if I’m not learning, my soul gets weary. I think we are built with an intrinsic desire to learn. There is something soul-nourishing about growing our understanding of something in this world. So whether it be learning a new skill, joining a book club, reading about history, or any of the myriad of methods of growing knowledge, this is a vital tool in nourishing your soul. When is the last time you learned something because YOU initiated the learning? I’m not talking about having to learn something for school or a job, but because it interested you. Pick up a book, take a class, learn something. It will bring back energy to your soul.
So there you have it, four ways of scratching an itch that sleep can’t reach. Re-energising your soul.
Yeah, nah
05/11/18
When we moved to New Zealand from the States in 1999, we began learning Kiwi terms and slang. One of my favourite is: “Yeah, nah”. That can be interpreted in a number of ways. The way I usually use it is to communicate this: “I hear what you’re saying but I completely disagree”.
That’s how I feel about this meme. (Is that the appropriate designation for this graphic?)
Now, a handful of years ago, I would have agreed totally with that. What better way to live out your life than giving it up for others? And there are certainly times when that may be called for – insert mental images of soldiers, secret service men and women, and other such professions where the stated purpose is to protect others to the extent of giving up your life for that goal.
However, I don’t think this is what this meme is trying to get across. This meme encourages the idea of losing yourself in the life of another, of slowly burning out because you are so focused on another. And I’m not so sure that’s the best investment of our lives.
When I started my counselling training, I was also pastoring a small but active church that gave me more than my share of work to do. I got to the point where I was so busy with pastoring and education, that I started developing some very concerning physical problems. It got so serious that when visiting my counselling supervisor he refused to let me leave his office until we had this sorted out. I just couldn’t see where I could let go of anything. Then he asked me the question:
“So when you DO have this stroke, what will all these people who depend on you do then?”
It was an in-your-face-meant-to-provoke-a-strong-reaction question. And it did.
You see, I thought burning myself out for others was the way to live. But had I burned out, the work I’ve been able to do with people over the last eight years would not have happened.
I remember when I was young, hearing well-meaning speakers say, “It’s better to burn out than rust out!” Oh yeah! That’s what I wanted.
But burn out or rust out, you’re still OUT!
No, much better to live a balanced life - where you are living for something bigger than yourself, but also giving yourself opportunity to recharge your batteries so that you can continue to live for something much bigger than yourself.
I’d much rather see this meme say something like:
Now, a handful of years ago, I would have agreed totally with that. What better way to live out your life than giving it up for others? And there are certainly times when that may be called for – insert mental images of soldiers, secret service men and women, and other such professions where the stated purpose is to protect others to the extent of giving up your life for that goal.
However, I don’t think this is what this meme is trying to get across. This meme encourages the idea of losing yourself in the life of another, of slowly burning out because you are so focused on another. And I’m not so sure that’s the best investment of our lives.
When I started my counselling training, I was also pastoring a small but active church that gave me more than my share of work to do. I got to the point where I was so busy with pastoring and education, that I started developing some very concerning physical problems. It got so serious that when visiting my counselling supervisor he refused to let me leave his office until we had this sorted out. I just couldn’t see where I could let go of anything. Then he asked me the question:
“So when you DO have this stroke, what will all these people who depend on you do then?”
It was an in-your-face-meant-to-provoke-a-strong-reaction question. And it did.
You see, I thought burning myself out for others was the way to live. But had I burned out, the work I’ve been able to do with people over the last eight years would not have happened.
I remember when I was young, hearing well-meaning speakers say, “It’s better to burn out than rust out!” Oh yeah! That’s what I wanted.
But burn out or rust out, you’re still OUT!
No, much better to live a balanced life - where you are living for something bigger than yourself, but also giving yourself opportunity to recharge your batteries so that you can continue to live for something much bigger than yourself.
I’d much rather see this meme say something like:
“Good people are like rechargeable flashlights;
they take time to recharge themselves so they can continue to give others light.”
Not as pithy, but certainly a lot more healthy!
How’s your balance? Are you taking time out to regather your energy, focus, and strength? Are you burning out or managing your life in a more healthy way?