Yeah, nah
05/11/18 Filed in: Self-Care
When we moved to New Zealand from the States in 1999, we began learning Kiwi terms and slang. One of my favourite is: “Yeah, nah”. That can be interpreted in a number of ways. The way I usually use it is to communicate this: “I hear what you’re saying but I completely disagree”.
That’s how I feel about this meme. (Is that the appropriate designation for this graphic?)
Now, a handful of years ago, I would have agreed totally with that. What better way to live out your life than giving it up for others? And there are certainly times when that may be called for – insert mental images of soldiers, secret service men and women, and other such professions where the stated purpose is to protect others to the extent of giving up your life for that goal.
However, I don’t think this is what this meme is trying to get across. This meme encourages the idea of losing yourself in the life of another, of slowly burning out because you are so focused on another. And I’m not so sure that’s the best investment of our lives.
When I started my counselling training, I was also pastoring a small but active church that gave me more than my share of work to do. I got to the point where I was so busy with pastoring and education, that I started developing some very concerning physical problems. It got so serious that when visiting my counselling supervisor he refused to let me leave his office until we had this sorted out. I just couldn’t see where I could let go of anything. Then he asked me the question:
“So when you DO have this stroke, what will all these people who depend on you do then?”
It was an in-your-face-meant-to-provoke-a-strong-reaction question. And it did.
You see, I thought burning myself out for others was the way to live. But had I burned out, the work I’ve been able to do with people over the last eight years would not have happened.
I remember when I was young, hearing well-meaning speakers say, “It’s better to burn out than rust out!” Oh yeah! That’s what I wanted.
But burn out or rust out, you’re still OUT!
No, much better to live a balanced life - where you are living for something bigger than yourself, but also giving yourself opportunity to recharge your batteries so that you can continue to live for something much bigger than yourself.
I’d much rather see this meme say something like:
Now, a handful of years ago, I would have agreed totally with that. What better way to live out your life than giving it up for others? And there are certainly times when that may be called for – insert mental images of soldiers, secret service men and women, and other such professions where the stated purpose is to protect others to the extent of giving up your life for that goal.
However, I don’t think this is what this meme is trying to get across. This meme encourages the idea of losing yourself in the life of another, of slowly burning out because you are so focused on another. And I’m not so sure that’s the best investment of our lives.
When I started my counselling training, I was also pastoring a small but active church that gave me more than my share of work to do. I got to the point where I was so busy with pastoring and education, that I started developing some very concerning physical problems. It got so serious that when visiting my counselling supervisor he refused to let me leave his office until we had this sorted out. I just couldn’t see where I could let go of anything. Then he asked me the question:
“So when you DO have this stroke, what will all these people who depend on you do then?”
It was an in-your-face-meant-to-provoke-a-strong-reaction question. And it did.
You see, I thought burning myself out for others was the way to live. But had I burned out, the work I’ve been able to do with people over the last eight years would not have happened.
I remember when I was young, hearing well-meaning speakers say, “It’s better to burn out than rust out!” Oh yeah! That’s what I wanted.
But burn out or rust out, you’re still OUT!
No, much better to live a balanced life - where you are living for something bigger than yourself, but also giving yourself opportunity to recharge your batteries so that you can continue to live for something much bigger than yourself.
I’d much rather see this meme say something like:
“Good people are like rechargeable flashlights;
they take time to recharge themselves so they can continue to give others light.”
Not as pithy, but certainly a lot more healthy!
How’s your balance? Are you taking time out to regather your energy, focus, and strength? Are you burning out or managing your life in a more healthy way?